Validate their feelings by showing them you understand why they were hurt. Just because you make a direct amend doesn’t mean the responsibility stops there. You must show you mean alcoholism treatment it by not making the same mistake again. Continue to show sincerity by being respectful, honest, and empathetic. These steps help mend old wounds and strengthen our commitment to a sober life.
- You might question who you should make amends with versus those who would be harmed if you did this.
- However, if you are searching for answers related to AA’s Step 9, you’ve come to the right place because, as mentioned, the 12 steps are the same.
- This step builds on your self-inventory and admission of past wrongs.
- Here, we explore Step 9, its goals, possible outcomes, and effective language for making amends.
Leave out the “but” and listen
- Just because you make a direct amend doesn’t mean the responsibility stops there.
- This process helps rebuild relationships and promotes personal growth in recovery.
- While you can apologize later for missing the event, the apology consists of words, rather than actions/changed behavior.
- The goal is to maintain your recovery while striving to make things right.
- In Step 9, participants acknowledge the negative impact their addiction had on others and commit to direct amends where possible.
To act beyond our old patterns of behavior, many of us require guidance. He’s a teenager, so I try to let him function at that age level. When living amends definition he runs out of clean clothes, I don’t lecture or offer solutions.
Understanding AA Amends In The Twelve Steps
Step 9 is where emotional healing intersects with social accountability. It directly follows the moral inventory and confession stages. Many people report significant peace after completing this step, saying it lifted a weight they didn’t even realize they were carrying. Ongoing efforts to stay sober, change your habits, and treat people better, especially those you’ve wronged. Some people come to this step while in a recovery facility like Radar Recovery Center, where they can practice what amends might look like in a safe and supportive environment.
How can making amends help in relapse prevention?
Understandably, you might also be afraid of what the person’s reaction will be, feel very ashamed, or worry that your apology is too late. Making amends is an intentional action that will help you stay sober long-term. If you caused another person harm while you were addicted, there is a good chance that the issue will catch up with you in the future. There’s also a good chance it could become a trigger https://ecosoberhouse.com/ for relapse. For example, let’s say you punched a hole in a friend’s wall while under the influence of alcohol.
